Treat Guilt Like a Proposal…

In an earlier post, I spoke about the ease at which I can be made to feel guilty.  Someones unexpected reaction to something I do or say immediately causes me to assume I did something wrong.  While I am no stranger to making mistakes, there are times where I later come to realize that the reaction the other person is the wrong behavior and I assumed guilt when I did not earn it.

I have adopted a new strategy to help combat my tendency to be the guilty one.  I now treat my guilt like a proposal.  A proposal is a suggestion presented for approval or denial.  It gives the recipient the choice to evaluate and decide before taking action.  When a situation causes me to feel like I was wrong, I view it as a proposal.  Before I assume, I evaluate my actions and the resulting behavior from others which leads me to decide: approved or denied?

If approved, I find myself guilty, allow myself to learn and immediately look to make amends.   If denied, I accept that the person who reacted unexpectedly is as human and I which leads me to one of two actions: forgive or forgive and confront.  With either conclusion, I win.  Best of all, I carry much less guilt these days!

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